Captured! By Robots

Kickstand Productions Presents

Captured! By Robots

Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre, Lovely Little Girls

Saturday, March 25th, 2017

Doors: 9:00 pm / Show: 10:00 pm

Beat Kitchen

Chicago, IL

$13.00 - $15.00

Tickets at the Door

This event is 21 and over

Captured! By Robots
Captured! By Robots
2 kick ass robots, 1 stupid human. Brutal pummeling music. End of story.
But you wanna read more stupid crap? Ok, idiot human.
CAPTURED! BY ROBOTS has been touring the world since 1997, playing thousands of dive bars for millions of drunken humans.

C!BR has now returned with a newly found united aggression towards humanity (that) has been channeled into fast n loud music, designed to deafen and destroy, to pound and pummel, breaking your bones with brutal tones.

They plan on doing this on the “20 Years Of Suffering” tour, which is scheduled to kick off February 22nd in Glendale, CA and will run through April 15th in Reno, NV. A complete list of dates can be found below.

This tour celebrated the robots 20th anniversary and the first tour since their breakup in 2015.

GTRBOT666 latest transmission on the upcoming tour:
"YOU MISERABLE HUMANS HAVE GOT WHAT YOU DESERVE NOW! HAHAHA! BRING ON THE SUFFERING! WE WILL USE YOUR TEARS TO LUBRICATE THE MACHINES OF YOUR DESTRUCTION! HAHAHA. YOUR CHARRED BODIES WILL WARM OUR COLD ROBOTIC HEARTS."

The band’s first new album in years will be released in early 2017. More details and a music video will be revealed shortly. The robots have returned and they have been rebuilt to play crazy fast blast beats better than your shitty human drummer.

In 1996, Jay Vance made the robots because he was extremely unlikeable, and wanted to play in a band after all his past human bands hated him. He got to work. Shortly after, GTRBOT666 and DRMBOT 0110 were born. After a horrible accident involving many drugs and a chemical spill, the Bots became self-aware and captured the human, now renamed JBOT. It was decided that they would travel the country, rocking out while bent on world domination and humiliating the masked and chained idiotic human in front of his human peers.

As well, JBOT’s mask was removed: after 15 years of captivity removal of the mask serves to show how ugly and disgusting the human JBOT really is.

The Bots and JBOT’s relationship has changed. Now they are much more united in hating humanity. Stockholm syndrome? Maybe… Or maybe you all just suck really really bad.
Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre
Texas Toast Chainsaw Massacre is a crossover thrash band made up of 5 nerdy dudes who love making music, and combining fast riffs with comedy and pop culture references.
Lovely Little Girls
Lovely Little Girls is a theatrical art/prog band that delves into the grotesque. From subject matter that explores absurd sex, ridiculous gluttony, abject failure, and unceremonious death, Lovely Little Girls morphs rock forms into abstract black humor narratives. Their complex arrangements and odd use harmony will strike a chord with fans of Magma and The Residents. Monica Kendrick of the Reader writes, "[Lovely Little Girls] create elaborate, challenging, ever-changing musical structures with grotesque themes of slimy, suppurating, oozing, tumescent bodily horror...They create a full, lush sound full of slipperiness and unpredictable, rug-yanking twists and turns. A new LLG album is a long-term pleasure, because you never quite step in the same river twice."
Venue Information:
Beat Kitchen
2100 West Belmont Avenue
Chicago, IL, 60618
http://www.beatkitchen.com/